Improving self esteem

To improve self esteem you must learn how to laugh at yourself and life. Find the funny things about what you say and do and tell them to people. The big joke about life is that we have consciousness of it, so therefore we have consciousness of the end of our consciousness of it. Joking and laughing may be seen as an avoidance of some issues but I always think of comedy as an understanding of our existence. I think it gives insight. Like when Leno does his monologue he gives us some understanding of American Life and life in general. If you do not have a good sense of humor, it is the first thing to work on. Watch funny movies (comedies), read the comics in the newspaper. Spend some time every day, laughing. The harder the better. Next is you have to start doing the things you like to do. At least 80% of the time. This way you can distinguish between the things you like to do and the things you do not like to do but do anyway. Doing things you don't like to do builds character as long as a great majority of the time you do what you like. First, sit down and make a list. Things I like to do and things I don't like to do. Or, things I like and things I don't like. Third, reflect on the good things that have happened to you, think of them a lot. Keep them in the forefront of you thinking. Again, 80/20. You can think of the bad things that have happened only about 20% of the time. You have to catch yourself. My mother used to say, when I complained too much about life, "You are just feeling sorry for yourself." I use this to get out of thinking too much about the negative side of life, after all you are free to think whatever you want. This is what mediation does for you. It helps you control you thoughts so that you can, at any moment, think about something they way you want to. Again, first, try to find the positive of the situation, but do not discard the negative. Forth, set small goals each day and accomplish them. The criteria for a goal to be a goal are: it must be achievable, it must be measurable, can't hurt anyone else, you really really really want to do it. More on this another time.